Scared into a sea of people

Hey, little ol' me again, still as scared as ever. Why am i scared this time, you may as? well, six states away, a year later, and nothing has changed. The bullying started here again, well not again but it started here. My mom has breast cancer, we found out on the third of october. my step dad is the only one working now so he has all the weight and pressure on him, leaving alot of the home pressures on me. i dont know, i always say sometimes i feel left out, but when i actually want to be left out, it feels like all of it always ends up on me. i love my mother, i really do, but i cant take seeing her like this anymore. its only been a month, i dont want to see it after a year. as its killing her, its killing everythong and everyone around her. her once cheery desposition now fades into gray, as if it never even happened. dont really wanna get much more into my personal lfe, but im just gonna say this. when you feel like the world is ending, and all is lost. maybe things would be better if we get lost into the sea of people once in a while. like Ky from Matched, youre there one second, gone the next. sometimes its just better. 

gotta get the computer back to the school. love and miss ya guys and ill promise ill try to write more

bye lil wow out :)