crying is practically dying

a tear will start with a though. a thought will lead to a decision. a decision will lead to a mistake. a mistake will be too late.

So low

 You stand with your head held high, and yet you feel so low. You stand so tall, only to feel so small. You hope for the best, and hope for happiness, but you know better. 
Is it that much to ask, to just be happy? 
To not want to wake up every day just wishing that you didn't. To not cry yourself to sleep every single night and beg to not see another day. 
Is there anything you can do to help? 
Is there anything you can do to actually enjoy being alive and happy? 
I know I promised, but i just don't know if 
I can keep that promise. Frankly it's just way too hard to even consider.

Crying diamonds

She walks alone in this world, in hopes that someone will rescue her from her tower. Wishing someone will see what she has to offer. Praying for someone to end her suffering, in any way possible. No one sees by her messy hair or even shy personality, that she is a diamond in the rough. Her heart is as pure as gold, and her soul is as hard as diamonds. Nothing can hurt it, aside from diamonds. There are diamonds, and there are fakes. Some can be fooled, and she was. all she saw was how they shined, and she didnt think that she did, but she shined brighter then any of them. One night, those fake jewels made her cry diamonds. The funny thing about diamonds, the only thing that can hurt them is diamonds. there was one less heart of gold that night, and that is something that those fake jewels cannot forget.

the final stand, the last straw...

So on this day, a day where things may seem normal. Cute guys avoiding me, friends pretending to be too busy to talk to me but being on facebook saying how bored they are and everything. but today, the biggest piece of my childhood died today. Robin William committed suicide, and that is tragic. he was an inspiration to all who had depression, especially those, like me, who grew up watching him. I grew up watching him and loving him, ive known all my life that he was struggling every single day with depression. later in my life when i started developing problems, i would watch his movies, i must have watched flubber a bajillion times after my grandfather, the best person in my life, died. the point is, he was always my inspiration when i was thinking of ending it... he only wanted to make people smile and make them happy. and... he just ended his life. i would never be one of those crazy stalker fans who would kill themselves because their idol killed himself... but he was always my inspiration... after the rape and the abuse and the sickness and all of this death around me... he was my inspiration to keep pushing and live my dream. what should i do now?

i love you all, remember that
gotta go, lil' wow out