So low

 You stand with your head held high, and yet you feel so low. You stand so tall, only to feel so small. You hope for the best, and hope for happiness, but you know better. 
Is it that much to ask, to just be happy? 
To not want to wake up every day just wishing that you didn't. To not cry yourself to sleep every single night and beg to not see another day. 
Is there anything you can do to help? 
Is there anything you can do to actually enjoy being alive and happy? 
I know I promised, but i just don't know if 
I can keep that promise. Frankly it's just way too hard to even consider.